How to be Angry
Anger. It’s a part of life. But should anger be a part of a believer’s life? Paul answers this question in Ephesians 4:26-27 when he writes, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”
The passage is clear. Anger does have a place in a believer’s life. At the same time, it’s just as clear that—in the power of God’s Spirit—the believer’s anger must be managed. While there is such a thing as “righteous anger,” it is not common in our world—or even in Christ’s church. For this reason, Paul reminds us that one expression of putting on our “new self” (see 4:24) will be the Spirit-empowered management of our anger. So what does anger management involve for you and me as believers? In the first half of Ephesians 4:26 Paul calls us to PURIFY OUR ANGER. Paul instructs, “Be angry and do not sin…” So what does it mean to be angry without sin? What does “purified” or “righteous” anger look like? We find our answer in the earthly life of Christ. From Scripture, we know that anger was a part of Jesus’ life. More than that, we know that Jesus’ anger was without sin. First, when Jesus got angry, it was always for the right reason. Dishonoring God, or the things of God, rightly angered Jesus (see John 2:13-17). In the same way, Jesus was angered when he saw people being oppressed or destroyed—whether physically or spiritually (see Matthew 23:13-15, 33-36). In short, Jesus’ anger was never self-centered. It was always God-centered or other-centered.
Unlike Jesus, we are seldom angry for the right reasons. Too often our anger is self-centered anger. We get angry because we don’t get our way. We get angry because we feel dishonored. We feel wounded. We feel inconvenienced. We get angry because we feel irritated. The result? Often our anger is bitter anger, slanderous anger, retaliatory anger, unforgiving anger. In this, we demonstrate that our concern is not for God or for others. In this, we prove we are not like Jesus. In this, our anger becomes sin.
But not only does God call us to be angry for the right reason, he also calls us to be angry in the right way. Take note! The anger of Jesus was an anger marked by compassion. Always. In Mark 3:1-5 Jesus is angered by the Pharisees. Even so, he still grieves at their hardness of heart. In Luke 19:45-46, Jesus again cleanses the temple in anger. Even so, in this same context, Jesus weeps over Jerusalem’s rebellion (see verses 41-44). We see the same in Matthew 23:37. After angrily condemning the Pharisees and the scribes for their hypocrisy, Jesus grieves over their refusal to seek refuge in him. And so, in Christ, we come to know—righteous anger is compassionate anger. If we have no compassion for those who dishonor God and God’s people—if we have no desire to see those who rightly anger us come to repentance and faith—our anger is sinful and impure (see also Ezekiel 33:11).
But not only does Paul call us to purify our anger. In Ephesians 4:26-27, he also calls us to PACIFY OUR ANGER. The apostle writes, “…do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” While anger does have a place in the life of a believer, anger must never be allowed to control our emotions and our lives. Since “the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires” (see James 1:20) anger must never be allowed to simmer in our hearts. Righteous anger will move us promptly to action or to prayer. Sinful anger must be confessed and repented of. As forgiven believers we must act to forgive those who wrong and anger us (Colossians 3:13). We must learn to leave judgment in the hands of God (1 Peter 2:23).
Is there someone you need to forgive? Is there a long-simmering anger in your heart you need to give over to God? If so, seek God’s grace to forgive—and do not delay. Paul reminds us that it is a dangerous thing to harbor anger in our hearts. Anger gives Satan a platform from which to work in our lives (Eph. 4:27). Unresolved anger is a gateway to bitterness, malice, retaliation, and a host of other sins. Anger, left to simmer, destroys fellowship with God and with his people. What a miserable way for any believer to live.
As followers of Christ, righteous anger does have a place in our lives. Even so, as fallen people saved by grace, we must always evaluate the nature of our anger honestly before God. May God grant us his grace to both purify and pacify our anger that we might always walk closely with him and with each other.