Relational Wisdom
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. 16) The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult. 18) …There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:15-16,18).
The depth of wisdom possessed by an individual is revealed by how he interacts with others:
Proverbs 12:15 reminds us that the wise man is teachable. When relating to others, he is willing to hear and heed good advice. The wise man is willing to learn from others and yield to those with more knowledge and life experience. The fool, on the other hand, is convinced he has no need for advice. He is arrogant and sinfully self-sufficient. He looks down on others and sees no need for anyone’s help. The fool is fully committed to himself and his own opinions. In Genesis 4, Cain exemplifies such a fool. When angered that God accepted Abel’s offering while rejecting his, Cain refused even God’s advice. With love and patience, God advised Cain to repent and warned Cain that “sin is crouching at the door…but you must rule over it” (Genesis 4:7). Yet, ignoring God’s advice, Cain arrogantly yielded to his own pride and anger. The result was Abel’s murder and his own self-destruction. In our own struggle against pride we also can be tempted to ignore the wise advice of others. In God’s strength, we must resist this temptation. While all advice must be tested by Scripture, we need to be humble enough to hear and heed the wisdom of those who are trustworthy.
Proverbs 12:16 teaches that a person’s response to an offense demonstrates either their maturity or their foolishness. Governed by insecurity and self-absorption, the fool angrily responds to every real or perceived slight. This response to a personal attack has no place in the life of a believer. Rather, “…the prudent ignores an insult.” The apostle Peter writes, “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.”Do we do the same? When reviled are you instantly angered? Do you quickly jump to your own defense? Or are you prudent and wise? Are you willing to entrust yourself “to him who judges justly” like Jesus entrusted himself to his Father?
Once spoken, words cannot be unspoken. With this in mind, Proverbs 12:18 reminds us that spoken words are powerful. Words have the power to heal. Words have the power to wound. Without doubt, we each bear the wounds of words that, at one time or another, pierced our souls. At the same time, we have also experienced the power of healing words. What kind of words do you speak? Do your words please God and heal others? Or are your words too often rash, destructive words—words that stab and wound? This proverb calls us to consider the words we speak before we speak themdeclaring, “The tongue of the wise brings healing.”
The apostle Paul writes, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).
May God quell our arrogance and empower our tongues to build up rather than tear down.