Spirit-Led Speech
In Ephesians 4:22-24, Paul commands us to “put off” our old selves and to “put on” our new selves “created after the likeness of God.” In other words, as believers our lives should be governed by God’s Spirit rather than our sin nature which has been “crucified with Christ” (Romans 6:6). Ephesians 4:29 reminds us that the way we use our tongue gives evidence as to whether we are, or are not, putting on our new selves—whether we are, or are not, filled with the Holy Spirit. In fact, Jesus himself declares that our heart condition is revealed by the words we speak (see Matthew 12:33-37). In Ephesians 4:29, Paul writes, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
When we daily submit ourselves to the leadership of God’s Spirit, we will find ourselves speaking RIGHT WORDS. That’s why, in Ephesians 4:29, Paul prohibits the speaking of “unwholesome” words. So, what is an unwholesome word? Scripture provides countless examples. Eph. 5:4 speaks of obscenity, foolish talk, and coarse joking. Such speech devalues women and cheapens God’s gift of sex. In the same way God prohibits dishonest speech (Ps. 5:6, 9), boastful speech (Prov. 27:1-2), bitter, cursing speech (Rom. 3:14), grumbling speech (Jude 16; Phil. 2:14), gossip (Rom. 1:29), slander (Rom. 1:30), irreverent speech/blasphemy (Exodus 20:7), and more. All such speech dishonors God and destroys the unity of Christ’s church!
There is more. When we are being led by God’s Spirit, not only do we speak right words, we speak them with RIGHT MOTIVES. And what is the right motive for speaking the words we speak? In Ephesians 4:29, Paul tells us by instructing us to speak “only what is helpful for building others up…”. So, what about it? Are our words of encouragement sincere? Are our words of correction motivated by love and a desire to see others grow, or by irritation or self-righteousness? When we speak, are we truly invested in “building up” our brothers and sisters in Christ?
Third, Ephesians 4:29 reminds us that, those led by God’s Spirit, will not only speak right words with right motives. They will speak them at the RIGHT MOMENT. The NASB translates the phrase “according to their needs” more literally as “according to the needs of the moment…”. It is not enough to speak right words. It is not enough to speak true words. Truth, spoken at the wrong time, can damage and wound. Telling an emotional parent grieving the immediate loss of a child that “all things work together for good (Romans 8:28)” seldom proves comforting or helpful. It’s the same when we speak words of correction. Trying to correct someone when we—or they—are angry is not effective or loving.
May God help us—under the leading of his Spirit—to speak right words with right motives at the right time. In doing so, the words we speak will benefit those willing to hear! This is what it means to “speak the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15).